I’d been resisting WordPress. I was out of college, in a job I hated, and doing nothing with my degree. It seemed like every time I went online another acquaintance had made themselves a website to showcase their knowledge and abilities. I wanted that, and besides, it made sense that a creative writing major should have a website to show off some of that creative writing.
Except that I had nothing to share. Sure, there’s all the assignments I did for school, safely stored in my Google Drive, metaphorically wasting away from both lack of use and lack of exposure to the light of day. All of them either felt too personal or not good enough to share on the web. You can’t retract your posts. In that sense, the internet is forever, even if the world ends tomorrow and all the batteries turn to dust and all the servers explode. Your words stop belonging to just you once you click publish.
So then I thought, “My senior project wasn’t too personal, it was just about Wolverine.” And for a while, that was good. I set to formatting my senior writing project, a small booklet of collected essays on the Marvel character Wolverine, trauma, and other feelings, for website publication. This meant rereading, proofreading, editing, finding mistakes, being horrified, setting out to right those wrongs with writing!
And then I stopped.
Time passed and I got used to convincing myself I don’t have time for this. I need to focus on making an income, on settling now so I can afford my dreams later on.
Now I’m here. I got fed up waiting on myself to finish that website. I saw Thor: Ragnarok in IMAX 3D and got inspired. And then I downloaded this WordPress app to my phone and tried to get eloquent about what I liked and didn’t like from the movie.
Nothing may ever come of this, but I think part of my journey is realizing nothing ever has to come of this. I’m writing again for the first time in damn near a year. That can be enough.